I am still sick! This has been two full months now, January I just thought it was the sniffles and that it would retreat and leave me in peace, but noooo it continued to wage war on me all though Febuary and the Doctor said it was a sinus infection and gave me meds but this…this monster…this infection was way stronger then we anticipated and it continued to attack me in my weak state. But alas, this Friday I shall be seeing the Doctor again and maybe, just maybe, she will find a way to beat this infection and I shall pervail. If not…then I am afraid that all hope may be lost, that the sneezing and sniffeling and caughing might win and I shall die a miserable death by snot.
You know…I really wish this had happend in my Latin class. I would have be all the more eager to learn it lol
My favorite part of any episode of this show is to watch how Giles is 600% done with everybody.
As days tick by, and weeks fly forward, I claw at my throat, nose, and eyes, crying out to the gods to remove this curse of allergies they seem to have put upon me? Like seriously, what did I ever do to you Zeus, your royal man-whore-ness? Jk, he know’s I love him, this is our playful banter you see.
Be it the gods that curse me, or actually nature that is getting its revenge upon me and my kind for simply not reducing the amount of litter that grows yearly, these allergies are a buzz kill. Granted the first antibiotic of this year was not caused by the same apparent sinus infection that reeks havoc on my now, I have had to deal with two and probably by next Friday my total count will have reached three antibiotic’s in the course of what? Two months? Well then again next week starts March, so can I count that as one antibiotic for each month??? Ugh math, months, days, sneezing and puffy eyes…if your catching my drift, THIS SUCKS. Yep, sucks big, hairy, monkey balls. I no like.
But beyond the dreary-ness that courses though my swollen sinuses, I’m just not physically there. I want to sleep, yet I want to be surrounded by people and hopefully gain some of their people skills, I actually want to interact. But alas my group of friends are kind of just as reclusive as I am, and thus I sit upon my couch watching reruns of shows I’ve long since memorized.
I did go on a date….? Can I call it a date, what makes a date? I mean…I don’t know. I like him, he’s sweet, cute and fully of witty banter and he can take a picture, and quote movies, usually on I have seen. I asked him to Asian food-shocker I know. Me and those sauces are not friends, but I can stand dumplings and curry, and it was a plus that I know its his favorite food. It wasn’t awkward at all, okay so maybe some of the moments were naturally awkward as the conversation came to a small stop and I looked over the menu like a million times, despite the fact that he and I both already knew that I was only going to order the yellow curry. I mean I guess technically it was a “lunch-date” but will I admit that to anyone? Hells know, I shall defend it as a lunch and simply wait till he himself refers to it as a date or he ask me out on one.
I don’t know, my level of consistent sicky-ness, and his seemingly stressed and busy daily life I have know understanding or belief that something may or may not happen. I don’t want to slam the door shut upon myself, but I don’t want to expect it to be wide open and ready for me to stroll on through. Things never work that way, that’s two easy.
I guess once again time will tell, and in the meantime I can flirt and smile and bat my eyelashes upon those I see fit. Like shop guy. Hmm now he’s a dorky piece of wax carving goodness. Seriously, he’s always carving wax as he tends to the workshop when i’m in my eight am sculpture class. I’m sure there’s another tool I wouldn’t mind learning how to use……
No, seriously-Like every tool in that shop I need to be shown how to use, personally, with someone on stand by in case I like break something. For example to day when I managed to pop a ban saw off its track, break it and then break the tiny scroll saw! I need someone on standby to help me, and damn it its a plus if he’s cute and I can possibly take him home with me.
Aw well its late, I should get some sleep. I know time will tell me how things will fare for the lack of love life i’m experiencing, but I never said it would be easy for me to let go and I sure as hell didn’t say I wouldn’t complain. Least I’m not picking up a dwarf, a dog on a dog, and a huge monster, all the wile twisting and turning down a labyrinth after a sexy goblin king and yelling “Its not fair!”
"ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!!"
So…I think its safe to say that the opposite sex does, indeed find me attractive. Some are creepers, some are sexie in their own way, some i’m attracted to, some make me want to run away, change my name and get reconstructive surgy. Least thats the experiancse I have thus far recieved.
But…as much as I want a good roll in between the sheets, gasping for air and a wonderful sleep that knocks me and them out for quite sometime, only to wake up and do it all over again, I want more.
Lets face it, I am a cheesy girl. My grandmother raised me on RomComs from the 70’s, 80’s and the 90’s, by the time the 2000s hit, I had already see the best and now they were just being remade. I went overbored with the rich bitch who fell in love with the carpenter that technically kid napped her, I danced with patric swazy pertending I was baby, I was pretty in pink and feel in love with the bad boy from detention. I want the cheese, I want the guy who gives me flowers, who makes me something from his heart. Who decides to go on a walk with me because he’s bored and simply being with me is intertainment enough. Who will tell me to shut up, sit down and finish my work, be quite and watch the movie/show when im confused and start asking all those questions we all know i do. Someone who will listen to me gush on and on about doctor who with an amused smile on their face, and then to shut me up and appease me, sit down and endure hours upon hours of episodes to get caught up. someone who will pull me and push me out of my comfort zone, but be there and hold me when i’ve gone too far too fast and want the firmilure again. Of course I want sex, great sex, awesome sex but….i’ve gone down that rode enough times now to prove what i already knew. sex does not equal love. Sex is fun, and some people can have sex and fun and all of that and it can work wonders for them. But for me….I need all that cheesy shit to happen along with the wonderfully awesome sex.
Not to toot my own horn, but I’d be the perfect girl friend. I’m not looking for marriage (Not til i’m 30 and or have been with this person for a shit tone of time like….10 years lol aka 30) just love. I want to be loved as much a I love them. I might not be able to cook but damn it, I can make a hello of a sandwich and as long as its not demanded of me, I dont mind making them. I’m shy on the outside, wild with my friends, passionate about what and who I love and damn I am a challenge. I always keep you on your toes. And this little nerd girl might be shyly readying a book, but my mind is filled with wonderful things ;)
Problem is finding the right guy, who’s willing to see all this. I dont know, my instincts are shot here. My heart has been through the ringer quite a few times and my brain has finally taking over control. I might wear my heart on my sleeves, but its speaking code that no one else knows.
hufflepuff was the only girl i’ve been with, i still consider myself bisexual. I just havent found a woman that has made me gasp in aw as she walked by, taken my breath away…I think its because I have a need for being dominated and most girls I come across are submissive. Will…was well will. Shit happens and while he doesnt make my heart stop as he once did, doesnt make me blush at the sight of him, doesnt make me quiver with romantic butterflies, he still manages to make me smile. Make me feel better, he’s seen all I have to offer and loves me and is my best friend, but thats all we’re ment to be-even if we can tease eachother to the point that can be problematic. king crab was just well….a king who wanted me under his will and that didnt work well with me. I gave him my virginity, but that in no way ment he held some specialness. I could care less about him right now, but he did make the first experiance interesting. he just didnt have the cheesy. None of them have had the cheesy.
Some times I feel like monica and i’m looking for my channler, will is my richard but thats about it.
I dont know….tis new guy….photo guy…magic man…who knows what his nick name will be, one hasnt stuck yet. he’s shy and interesting, he teases me and makes quips and we banter in a friendly way. I wanna see where it goes…but im scared of delving into one person again. wasting time trying to catch the attention of someone that looks through me and past me rather then at me. but i’ll never know unless i try, unless i fly or fall and skin my knees,i’ll never know. Time will..change will….life will…I wont. I never do….and as time ticks by…I’m slowly starting to accept that.
I’ve been waiting for this gif set